Golding Institute “The Final Relaxation-Your Ticket to Death Through Hypnotic…” – [Ipecac]

I could guess that Gregg Turkington has got to the age where
a lot of his friends have more and more nagging aches and
pains, and are growing weary…and just complaining more and
more. So he, in his infinite genorosity, made this as a gift
to them, a balm for all those nasty paper cuts and unfortunate
experiences in restaurants. So instead of a self-help outing,
we’ve got a self-hurt recording here, with Turkington’s mouth
stuffed full of owl feathers, or os that Will Geer? Beckoning
the listener to sleepwalk into the light…he uses repetitiion
to soothe the listeners through teeth popping out of their
heads and toenails exploding and other steps towards pushing
their pineal shutdown buttons. A low rumble starts with the
magic word “slumber” and accompanies you to the final point of
departure 30+ minutes in with a “Goodbye.” Some of the groans
and moans on this are as unsettling as any of the words, and
the word “relax” gets pronounced like relaphxzzthtttt…and
again that repetition, pulling the words tighter and tighter
around you…a verbal noose. A strange combination of
left-field aphorisms and mean-spirited antagonisms make this
the gag that gags the listener? I guess it takes a lot of nerve
to approach nirvana. Packaged in bold hyperbolic style, all
subtlety euthanized. I have no complaints about this spooky
little spoof, seriously no complaints…why are you looking
at me that way. I want to live, I want to…

-Thurston Hunger